Ubisoft fired Joel McHale - E3 2011 Press Conference Summary

Ideally, I would write an article for Ubisoft as thorough as those I did for EA and Microsoft and will do for Nintendo and Sony. Unfortunately for Ubisoft, I don’t want to. The conference was not terribly interesting, and there’s really only three games to come out of it worth our time. Those were Farcry 3 (which is a series known for its quirk, and nothing was offered of interest in that vain other than a trailer), Gearbox’s Brothers in Arms: Furious 4 and Assassin’s Creed: Revelation.

Ubisoft’s strongest asset this year was their presenter - Aaron Priceman - AKA Mr. Caffeine or not-Joel-McHale. In past years, McHale offered his C game to the conference, rarely managing to get more than a murmur from the audience. He just didn’t get humor for game enthusiasts. This year, they cut their budget back significantly by not hiring such an unnecessary celebrity presence. In his place was Aaron Priceman - Wayne’s World apologist, 8bit hipster poser, and dreadfully stale Aaron Priceman. The most successful thing about his act was his tenacity - he just would not give up his shticks in spite of how horribly they performed. And thanks to our Mr. Priceman, we have a new gold mine of ridiculous things to laugh about in the coming months, a la “one million troobs, RIIIDGE RAACERR,” and the like. And herein lies the true genius of Ubisoft - they gave us someone so horrible that we can’t help but remember what he had to say. And we’ll talk about it for months, and indirectly, he’s provided us with a longer lasting humor than any one liner could. Of course, now that I’ve explained it, really, the joke is lost. God, what a horrible host. “Poop on your toothpaste.” “Dick jokes.” “Sharing.” "Tom Cahlancy." I suppose there’s something left.

More about the actual games on the full page.

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Anyhow. Assassin’s Creed: Revelation had a trailer. It showed an older Ezio following the trail of his ancestor Altair, entering some Inception-level training (Desmond learning from Ezio learning from Altair... where’s the kick?). This trailer and subsequent game demo revealed a depth about the Assassin’s Creed story I’ve missed up to this point. Having not played these games, I knew these characters existed, but to what ends their awesome reached I have always been unclear. With this new game comes what appears to be a heavier focus on character development (with an aged, world-weary Ezio). I don’t know whether or not this is the case, but I am certainly interested in the series at this point and will play soon. Revelation comes this year in November.

Gearbox’s Randy Pitchford (you may know him from the Duke Nukem delay video), took the stage to announce their next project Brothers in Arms: Furious 4. His introduction, far more humorous that Priceman’s entire bit, lead to an amusing trailer featuring Gearbox’s version of the Inglorious Basterds. Shameless Nazi bashing. I’m a little surprised the studio has put their Borderlands IP on hold for this (though at 170 employees, they could be working concurrently), but they’ve proven themselves capable of playing with the big names. Could be fun. It’s coming in 2012.

Farcry 3, as mentioned earlier, is an entrant into a series known for its niche appeal. The elements of that appeal appear to be present in this next game, but it’s difficult to actually discuss it without knowing the series. It could be a contender when it comes out next year.

A lot of people seem to like Rayman. Rayman: Origins exists, and the original Rayman creator made it. Then there’s Trackmania 2, Rabbids Kinect, Your Shape, Just Dance 3, Tom Clancy Ghost Recon online generic squad-based shooter, Tintin movie tie-in, and... Driver. That could be neat.